Thursday, May 7, 2009

My Two Sons

I have had this post knocking around in my head for awhile and decided I would take a stab at writing something substantive on this blog for once.

I used to work with a guy (he was a much older partner at my former law firm) that had three children. He had two biological sons and an adopted daughter. I remember that he would always mention that his daughter was adopted when talking about her. She had some emotional issues and it was like he was embarrassed by her behavior so he would qualify stuff with "she's adopted." I am not sure why I am thinking about this as its been since 2000 that I even worked with this guy and that is way before adoption was even a thought for us but for some reason that has stuck with me. I wonder if part of his daughter's issues were caused by being labeled adopted rather than just his daughter?

I can't imagine talking about Samuel like that regardless of what issues we might face in the future. I do not have one biological son and one adopted son, I have two sons - plain and simple. I am very proud of the way Samuel joined our family but do not think it is something that will come up that often when talking to people outside of our family. It will obviously be something we discuss in our house and with him but I never want him to feel like he is any less our son because of the way he joined our family.

7 comments:

Shamae said...

I think this is a great post Kelly. My husband comes from a home where the oldest 3 kids were adopted and the 2 younger ones were biological and his mom treats them differently. It is really sad. It is really sad that this does happen. Samuel is so lucky to have you guys! You have such a great family!

Amber said...

My boss adopted a little girl from China and refers to her as her 'little china doll'. It kills me to hear her do that. She too has several issues and from the outside, it appears that she is treated differently from their biological child. It is sad. Samuel is so blessed to be in your family.

From Carlys Eyes said...

I had major issues with that while I was working in the school district and it was even worse with "step children". It just sent chills up my spine. As a teacher when a child was in my care it was my child, no buts or exclutions about it. I was to protect and grow that child as my own, that was my job. I agree completely with your thought.

Debbie B said...

I find myself very often saying that Isabel is adopted but it's not in a labeling kind of way it's just because I love sharing our story.
But I know that I need to watch how I refer to her adoption.

It's sad to hear how people label the adopted kids. I've heard news stories about the adopted kid doing xyz. But they never say the biological kid!

Lut C. said...

Popped in from the crème de la crème list.

Great post. I've just started thinking about adoption to enlarge our family, so I really appreciate reading about your experience.

T Lee said...

Here from the Creme-

I love this post- it's so true. Why make a distinction? Your child is supposed to be YOUR CHILD- not bio, not foster, not adopted, not step... I just don't understand that mindset...

..soo.see.. said...

Here from Creme de la Creme too. Very nice post! Your child is your child, no matter how they joined the family. I often wondered about why the distinction has to be made.