Saturday, March 22, 2008

Opportunity????

It has been forever since I have updated this blog because there has been nothing to report on the adoption front. I am considering cycling again just to give myself something to do while we wait for a match. It is very difficult for a person who is typically in control of everything to wait and realize that there is nothing that I or C can do to make this adoption happen sooner.

We did get an e-mail today about a potential opportunity. The birthmother, her sister and her nephew all have bi-polar disorder and ADD/ADHD. She has a 2 year old that has no known health problems. They are asking all potential adoptive parents who want to be shown to the mother/father to let them know as soon as possible. This is a difficult decision since I know someone who suffers with bi-polar disorder and she is a mess. She, however, does not have any family support and I do not know if that plays a factor in how she has dealt with her disorder. If anyone reading this (if anyone even still reads this blog) has any insight into bi-polar disorder and ADD/ADHD, I would appreciate any thoughts. It is so tempting to jump at these opportunities since we are so anxious to get a match, however, we need to be sure it is the right decision for us and the birthmother/father.

2 comments:

Shamae said...

I still read your blog. I have your address on my google reader so it tells me when you update your blog. Anyway what a tough decision. I would say really pray about it. I know a few kids from church who have ADHD and they can be a handful but they come from such loving homes and families that really want to help them. I think that is a huge plus for you guys--you will love the baby and give it the help he/she needs. Also, if you go this route, there are medications to help with bi-polar issues. I think you guys would make whatever situation work. I guess you can't be sure than any child you get won't have some issues. This family has a history of mental illness but that doesn't mean if you wait you will not still face this issue with another child. I don't know what I would do if I were in this situation though. I will pray for you guys and this decision. BIG HUGS. Take care.

Cindy said...

Wow this is a tough decision. You and Chris really need to think long and hard about if you would accept this child, but in the interim if you take the next step does that withdraw you from other opportunities or commit you to this particular child? If not then I would do what you have to do now to proceed, but continue to think long and hard every day about what this means to you as a family and individually. The age gap between this baby and D would be large enough so that D could be reasoned with and understand outbursts. I am a firm believer that nurture plays a huge role in how people turn out. You and your DH appear to have a strong relationship and are great parents. Also you need to consider that even though there is a genetic disposition for these issues that doesn't mean that it will happen. There aren't any guarantees with children. You know that first hand after your birth experience with D. So much can go wrong with preemies and look how well he turned out. Personally I would go for it. Sometimes things happen for a reason. If you are ultimately matched with then child then I would imagine there is a good reason. In my mind it would mean that if there were difficulties then that child would develop better in your care than anyone elses. You are in my thoughts and prayers. This truly is a difficult decision.